Now Playing: Outburst and Your Inner Self
Topic: ANYBODY * ANYDAY
(This was copied from an email)
First, the crazy outbursts.
I imagine most of us are aware of the story about a U.S. Congressman whose outburst during the President's speech caused quite a stir, for better or worse depending on which 'side' one is on.
Congressman Wilson's outburst (and perhaps various reactions to it) is a great example of a couple of things, not the least of which is this:
1. Nothing gets done when people are screaming at each other.
2. Freak-outs and outbursts are not the most, um, skillful or effective choice for any of us, and it doesn't feel all that great to be in that state, either.
3. Losing our cool, freaking out, etc. is really expensive, in a whole lot of different ways.
4. There is definitely a better way. Probably more than a few of them.
Similarly, I once heard (directly, from someone who was there) about the shocking temper-tantrums and screaming-episodes of the leader of a large, well-known insurance corporation -- one that has since been in the news headlines.
This leader would apparently go red-faced, screaming, name-calling, and humiliating whomever it was who'd drawn his ire at any particular executive meeting.
Ya know, , I have to say, I don't even find any of these examples even remotely funny. It all seems kind of pathetic and very, very sad.
And yet all of us, me included, can no doubt remember times when we 'lost our cool', didn't stay centered, and let our reactions fly out of our mouths in ways that, in hindsight, we regretted.
In my many years providing strategic communication counsel, I was too-often called in to 'help straighten a mess out'. In the majority of situations, there was a lot of incivility, outbursts, unproductive interactions, murky vision, and confused leadership at the core.
For most of these groups -- large companies or small businesses -- that general culture of incivility, and lack of clarity and collaborative-spirit was costing a lot of money, time, wellbeing, and creativity.
So I also know -- as you may as well -- that there is a high value to being dignified, gracious, and civil, in whatever style is uniquely ours. And I know from my work in both professional communication *and* energy and mindset-management, that it takes certain practices to come from that more productive, calm, inspired place.
It's really a choice we make, a commitment or vow we make to ourselves, and perhaps to the Divine is we're so inclined. It's a way of holding ourselves and moving through the day in a dignified way, endeavoring to have a certain grace that ripples through us into all of our interactions.
Dignity and grace didn't seem exemplified in Congressman Wilson's recent episode, and perhaps he regrets it. Who can really say but him? I don't know if the insurance executive regrets exercising his addiction to the adrenalin boost that came from humiliating other people.
But these are all just mirrors for us, because it reflects something that lives within us, and having it reflected, we get to ask ourselves, "Hmmmm, is this something I want to choose to be, to model? Is this how I'd want others to feel? Is this what I want to be known for?"
And as earnest as it all sounds, there's a certain joy to taking that responsibility back for ourselves -- rather than pointing fingers, we see reflections in the mirror.
Rather than blaming or finger-pointing (or name-calling), we choose a more dignified, kind response, and we see the outbursts of others as simply their not being in their own center; they're not coming from the Higher Angels of their nature, as Abraham Lincoln might have said.
This is cultivating a whole new response-ability, rather than habitual (and not very helpful, to anyone, including ourselves) reactivity -- re-acting old stories, in ways that don't get much done that's worthwhile.
So thanks to both -- the Congressman, the insurance executive -- and any others who are very visible reminders of the healing that needs to be done, and of the more gracious, dignified choice that we can all make.
We can invite something else out to play -- another part of ourselves, and other aspects of people around us.
It starts with us, and as always, it starts within and expresses outward from there.
This was an excerpt from Ivy Sea online “Crazy Outbursts, Priestesses in Bluejeans, and a few other things"